5 Magnetic Phrases That Make You Instantly More Likable, Backed by Science

Charisma gets treated like a rare gift, but research says it’s mostly learned. Vanessa Van Edwards, a communication specialist who’s spent over a decade studying social dynamics, argues that what we call “magnetism” is often just a handful of conversational habits. According to Psytheater.com, Van Edwards has pinpointed five phrases that reliably make people seem warmer and more approachable—no extroversion required. These aren’t tricks. They’re signals that you’re genuinely tuned in to the person in front of you.

Each phrase works because it shifts the focus away from yourself and onto the other person. That’s the core of what makes someone feel seen and valued. Van Edwards, founder of Science of People and author of Captivate and Cues, says most people underestimate how much others enjoy their company—and how a few well-chosen words can change the entire tone of an interaction. The goal isn’t to perform friendliness, but to create a real sense of connection, even in brief exchanges.

What are these phrases? The first is a simple, sincere greeting: “I was hoping I’d run into you.” Used at the start of a meeting or social event, it tells the other person their presence matters. Next: “You’re going to love this.” This phrase, dropped before sharing a story or recommendation, signals that you’ve paid attention to their tastes and want to share something just for them. When a conversation turns personal, asking “How did that feel for you?” invites the other person to go deeper, moving beyond surface facts to real experience.

As a conversation wraps up, saying “Every time we talk, I walk away thinking…” followed by a specific, honest observation (“you always have a perspective I hadn’t considered”) shows that the interaction leaves a mark. Finally, “I wanted to ask you something” is a subtle way to honor someone’s expertise or insight, setting the stage for a meaningful exchange of advice or opinion.

But these phrases only work if they’re authentic. Tone matters as much as wording. If you’re just reciting lines, people sense it. Before using any of them, Van Edwards suggests a quick gut check: Do you mean it? Is this the right moment? Are you open to whatever response comes back? Used carelessly, these phrases can feel manipulative. Used with care, they open doors.

Context shapes how these lines land. In a workplace, telling a colleague you hoped to see them can soften a formal relationship. With friends or family, asking how someone experienced a situation can spark real sharing. The common thread is attention—these phrases only work if you’re actually listening, not angling for control. As recent reporting on the habits of unforgettable people shows, small shifts in how we speak can have outsized effects on how others perceive us.

Nonverbal cues matter, too. Leaning in, nodding, and making eye contact reinforce the message that you’re present and engaged. The words are just the start; your body language has to match. If you’re distracted or impatient, even the best phrase falls flat. The real skill is in pairing language with genuine curiosity and respect.

Charisma isn’t about dominating a room or dazzling with stories. It’s about making others feel interesting, respected, and safe to open up. These five phrases are tools, not scripts. Used thoughtfully, they help anyone—introvert or extrovert—build stronger, more rewarding connections in daily life.

Charisma and likability are often confused, but they’re not the same. Charisma is about presence and the ability to draw people in, while likability is rooted in warmth and trust. Both can be strengthened through intentional practice. Social skills training, often used in therapy for social anxiety or workplace coaching, focuses on these micro-behaviors: active listening, open body language, and the use of affirming language. Over time, these habits can reshape how others respond to you—and how you see yourself in social spaces.