Staying healthy as we age is one thing. Staying happy is another. According to Laura Carstensen, a psychology professor and director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, there are four simple habits that can make a real difference in how content and at peace we feel as we get older. These habits, highlighted in her TEDxWomen talk, are accessible to anyone and cost nothing to start.
Build and nurture close relationships. Research consistently shows that social isolation harms both physical and mental health. Carstensen emphasizes that having a few genuine friendships can make aging a more joyful experience. Whether it’s spending time with friends, family, neighbors, or colleagues, investing in meaningful connections is key. Even brief, positive interactions can help buffer against loneliness and stress.
Ask for and offer help. Studies indicate that older adults who volunteer or help others tend to be healthier and live longer. Altruism isn’t just good for the community—it’s a real factor in personal well-being. On the flip side, knowing you can ask for support when you need it brings a sense of emotional security that’s hard to overstate. Both giving and receiving help foster a sense of belonging and resilience.
Be selective with your responsibilities. The mental load of daily life can become overwhelming, especially as we age. Carstensen recommends learning to let go of nonessential obligations. This might mean skipping chores that aren’t truly necessary or saying no to commitments that drain your energy. By focusing on what matters most, you free up mental space for activities and relationships that genuinely enrich your life.
Savor small pleasures. Everyday joys—a walk in the sun, reading on the couch, sharing a meal with friends—are often overlooked. Carstensen encourages practicing mindfulness and fully appreciating these moments. Paying attention to simple pleasures can boost mood and help anchor you in the present, making life feel more meaningful and less rushed.
Importantly, Carstensen notes that you don’t have to wait until retirement to adopt these habits. The earlier you start, the more benefit you’ll see over time. These practices are not about grand gestures or major life changes, but about small, intentional choices that add up to a happier, more peaceful life.
Source: TED
